Do you believe that we can fall in love with anyone? Do you think that love is mad? Is it destiny? A fate where the stars decide whom you meet and fall in love with? Have you looked at someone or gone on a date only to wonder how to make that person fall in love with you?
Well, you can make anyone fall in love with you, or make yourself fall in love with someone else. And of course, destiny plays a part in this affair, but psychology can rule it as well!
Feeling confused?
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Let us simplify. Falling in love is not as mystical as it seems. At least not according to the psychologist Arthur Aron. In fact, according to him, people can fall in love with anyone, even a random stranger, or an acquaintance if they ask each other a series of personal questions. Not just any questions, but a set of questions that Aron devised. Of course, he has the scientific study to prove it!
Aron states that these questions, 36 in all, divided into three sets are quite probing in nature, and basically, they are ideal for a first date. The questions can accelerate feelings between two individuals and increase their intimacy levels.
The questions are designed to probe the development of close relationships, make both parties seem vulnerable, and exercise force on the issues that usually serve as cornerstones of the romantic relationship. He used these questions in his 1997 original study and made two people fall in love in his laboratory!
In fact, these two strangers were married within six months of meeting each other. Today, his questions are widely used by prospective couples to increase their intimacy, analyze if they love each other or find out if the romantic partner is right for them.
So, psychology plays a crucial role when it comes to falling in love. The questions in Aron’s study explore values, beliefs, past experiences, background, future thoughts, interests and even previous relationships. And by the end of the question-answer round, people usually realize whether or not they are meant for each.
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How does this happen? How to make anyone fall in love?
Well, you can try a modified version of questions in Arthur Aron’s study to make anyone fall in love with you. The questions are divided into three set, each set increasing the emotional vulnerability. Ideally, questions from the first two sets should be answered alternately, while the questions from the last set must be answered by each.
Set I
1. If you could invite anyone to dinner, who would that be?
2. Do you want to be famous? What way?
3. Do you tend to rehearse what you are going to say before making a phone call? If yes/if no, why?
4. What’s a ‘perfect’ day for you?
5. When was the last time you sang for yourself? Sang to someone else?
6. If you were going to live till the age of 90, would you want the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years?
7. Have you ever had an idea of how you will die?
8. Name three things shared between us (or that appear to be common)
9. What are you most grateful for?
10. Is there anything you would like to change about your nurturing? If yes, what it would be?
11. Tell your life story to the partner in 4 minutes, as much detail as possible
12. What is that one quality/ability that you would want to have when you wake up tomorrow (could be magical, mystical and others)
Set II
13. What would you like to know if a crystal ball can tell you the truth- yourself, your life, future or something else?
14. Is there anything you dreamt of doing for a long time? If yes, then why haven’t you done it?
15. Greatest accomplishment
16. In friendship, what is it that you value the most?
17. Treasured memories
18. Terrible memories
19. If you only had one year to live and you would die suddenly, is there anything you will change about how you are living? What and why?
20. What’s the meaning of friendship
21. Do you think love and affection are the important part of your life?
22. Is your family close and warm? Was your childhood happier than most people?
23. How was your relationship with your mother?
24. Alternately tell five characteristics of your partner that you consider positive
Set III
25. Make three true statements using ‘We,’ like, ‘we feel awkward,’ ‘we have had a liking for each other,’ etc.
26. Fill in the blanks, “I wish I had someone to share_________”
27. Your partner should be your close friend. Share one thing that’s important for him/her to know.
28. Share an embarrassing moment
29. When was the last time you cried by yourself and in front of others?
30. Tell your partner what you like about them (even on the first date)
31. Tell your partner what you like about them, even the things you wouldn’t say to someone you just met. Be honest.
32. Is there something too serious to be joked about?
33. What would you regret the most if you die this evening without an option to communicate? Why have you done it yet?
34. If your house catches fire, what are the one item you will save apart from your loved ones and pets
35. Who death in the family would be most disturbing to you?
36. Discuss a personal problem with your partner and request their advice. Also, ask the partner to reflect back on what they think about the chosen problem
How to Fall in love with someone using these questions?
If you are a skeptic and still feel weird about how it will help you fall in love with someone, or help someone fall in love with you, then this is how it works,
- It leads to mutual vulnerability. So, it is not just the female or the male who feels emotionally vulnerable, but both parties. This vulnerability and the emotional intimacy that comes from these questions is what helps romantic relationships thrive.
- It leads to eye contact. Already, a study indicates that 4 minutes of eye-contact can make people fall in love with anyone. And these questions foster eye-contact.
- It helps partners discover the deepest, and sometimes even the darkest thoughts. This helps them fall in love.
- It can work on anyone, from strangers to acquaintances and even friends. It also helps couples or partners see what the other one wants, and whether or not it coincides with their life’s goals.
So, that’s how those 36 questions can make you fall in love with someone! While these questions might not be great to try with anyone you date, and they might not yield the same results every time, they can still help you find ‘the one’ for you.
What are the other psychological tips you can use to make someone fall in love with you?
- Take care of yourself. Love yourself before attempting to love someone else
- Be kind. Meet new people
- Be emotionally available for the other person
- Think about your motives. Know about your goals and see if your goals are anywhere similar to your partner
- Know that there are other people in the world as well. So, if your relationship didn’t work, you shouldn’t lose hope
- Get to know the person you like and share their passions
- Create trust and support the person you like
- Respect the significant other
- Be a friend and do some activities together. At the same time, remember that you are separate people as well
- Embrace the quirks or nature of the person
- Appreciate the other person
- Keep things exciting and just don’t be afraid of falling in love
So, go out there! Find someone you like! Maybe, even fall in love with. Life is too short- fill it with lots of love.
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